This site has been created to teach you guys the whole French language in only 10 minutes, free of any charge. The information you'll find in this blog will able you to speak fluent French, discuss important matters (such as cheese) and get you laid with some French babes for sure. Since we have limited time, I'll start right away.
French language consists of 3 basic parts:
1- Greetings
2- Main dialogue
3- Au revoir
Monday, May 11, 2009
Greetings
There are three different types of greetings in French. You HAVE to use them! Or else you won't make any sense to a French guy.
1 - Bonjour: This magical word means "good day" and should only be used between 9 AM and 5 PM or else you would be considered as an ignorant foreigner which will make your life very, very hard among the French. You have to say this to everyone you see on the elevators, bus drivers, clerks and all other people who said bonjour to you.
A "bonjour" also means a day without any strikes, but this meaning is used rarely.
2 - Bonsoir: This replaces bonjour after 5 PM. It means "good evening" but it doesn't make any difference if you say it at 4 AM in the morning with wine stains all over your shirt.
3- Salut: This replaces the words above if you've met the person before. Use it wisely. You may be exposed to a very boring French conversation if you accidently say it to someone you don't give a shit about.
This concludes the first part of the 10 minute course... Please proceed to the main dialogue.
1 - Bonjour: This magical word means "good day" and should only be used between 9 AM and 5 PM or else you would be considered as an ignorant foreigner which will make your life very, very hard among the French. You have to say this to everyone you see on the elevators, bus drivers, clerks and all other people who said bonjour to you.
A "bonjour" also means a day without any strikes, but this meaning is used rarely.
2 - Bonsoir: This replaces bonjour after 5 PM. It means "good evening" but it doesn't make any difference if you say it at 4 AM in the morning with wine stains all over your shirt.
3- Salut: This replaces the words above if you've met the person before. Use it wisely. You may be exposed to a very boring French conversation if you accidently say it to someone you don't give a shit about.
This concludes the first part of the 10 minute course... Please proceed to the main dialogue.
Main dialogue
French language consists of four words apart from the greetings and "au revoir". These are:
1- ça va: The main subject and verb of all French sentences.
"ça va?" as a question means "how are you?", "how is it going?", "how are the wife and kids?", "what's up?", "can I take this?", "how much is a pint?" etc.. in different occasions. Pointing your finger while saying "ça va?" completes the question. For example:
Pointing first the Eiffel Tower then the Louvre Museum on a map then asking "ça va?" would mean "how can I go to the Louvre Museum from the Eiffel Tower?" Pointing a taxi afterwards would also mean you'd like to inquire about the price of a cab ride which would cover the distance. The possibilities of asking a question is endless with the combinations you can think of..
"ça va" without the question mark would mean: "I am fine", "it's going well", "they are alright.. the little one just started school", "cool", "sure you can take it" etc.. It is basically the positive answer to all questions.
2- pas: This word makes all the things discussed above negative. "ça va pas" means "I'm not feeling very great today", "the wife just divorced me", "of course, you can't take my girlfriend back home you prick" etc..
3- Merci: It means thank you. It is used to finish of conversations in a polite way.
You're almost finish with the French language. Let's learn about "Au revoir".
1- ça va: The main subject and verb of all French sentences.
"ça va?" as a question means "how are you?", "how is it going?", "how are the wife and kids?", "what's up?", "can I take this?", "how much is a pint?" etc.. in different occasions. Pointing your finger while saying "ça va?" completes the question. For example:
Pointing first the Eiffel Tower then the Louvre Museum on a map then asking "ça va?" would mean "how can I go to the Louvre Museum from the Eiffel Tower?" Pointing a taxi afterwards would also mean you'd like to inquire about the price of a cab ride which would cover the distance. The possibilities of asking a question is endless with the combinations you can think of..
"ça va" without the question mark would mean: "I am fine", "it's going well", "they are alright.. the little one just started school", "cool", "sure you can take it" etc.. It is basically the positive answer to all questions.
2- pas: This word makes all the things discussed above negative. "ça va pas" means "I'm not feeling very great today", "the wife just divorced me", "of course, you can't take my girlfriend back home you prick" etc..
3- Merci: It means thank you. It is used to finish of conversations in a polite way.
You're almost finish with the French language. Let's learn about "Au revoir".
Au revoir
Au revoir: See you later, good bye.. You have to say this when you leave, or just want to get the hell away from where you are.
There.. You learned French. Now let's practice everything we learned so far in an exercise:
Exercise:
-Bonjour. (Good morning)
-Salut! (Hi dude!)
-ça va? (How are you?)
-ça va. ça va? ( I'm fine.. What's up with you bro?)
-ça va pas. (Life sucks..)
-ça va pas? (What's wrong?)
-ça va pas.. (I just caught my girlfriend with the bastard who works at the coffeeshop..)
-ça va pas! (No way!)
-ça va.. ça va.. Merci.. (Yeah.. Well, I gotta go.. Thanks for listening..)
-ça va.. Au revoir! (Anytime dude.. See you later!)
-Au revoir.. (Farewell cruel world..)
There.. You learned French. Now let's practice everything we learned so far in an exercise:
Exercise:
-Bonjour. (Good morning)
-Salut! (Hi dude!)
-ça va? (How are you?)
-ça va. ça va? ( I'm fine.. What's up with you bro?)
-ça va pas. (Life sucks..)
-ça va pas? (What's wrong?)
-ça va pas.. (I just caught my girlfriend with the bastard who works at the coffeeshop..)
-ça va pas! (No way!)
-ça va.. ça va.. Merci.. (Yeah.. Well, I gotta go.. Thanks for listening..)
-ça va.. Au revoir! (Anytime dude.. See you later!)
-Au revoir.. (Farewell cruel world..)
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